Good morning, Get Shit Done day! I’m low on coffee,* high in spirits, and Windows Movie Maker is rendering at the speed of tar.

I’ve done the dishes and set up some tee shirts to dye that I waxed last week and then forgot about. I’ve handled correspondence and cleaned out my email. Cleaned the desk (which is a Really Good Thing, considering the state it was in**). Found my prescription under the pile & renewed it. Started curating the show for Rabbit Heart  (hence the rendering stuff). Packed up goods for the mail, both for Apple Batiks products and for the film festival. Ok, GO.

This is kinda wonderful, being in this space today, and I’m stupid grateful for it. I spent the last week in a bit of a slump, dealing with pain management and some psychic turmoil that had me feeling caged. But yesterday the pain started to lift (Tuesday was shot day \o/), and I had the car during the day, and I started to feel like I was more in gear – that lasted until dinnertime, when I just wanted a finished meal to spring forth fully formed from my brow like another coming of Athena, and then gave up and made some ramen. And then this morning, I’m more like me again, equipped with a big can of FUCK YEH. I’m totally ok with that. I let a lot of stuff slide last week while I was uncomfortable, and it’s nice to see it get taken care of. Tonight I may even make some rice stuffed tomatoes and we can sit together and eat like a family.

And I’m blessing the timing on this – September has just begin, and that means I’m moving into crunch time. With the film festival right around the corner, there’s a bunch of bits and pieces that I need to take care of before October comes to knock and things get really real – the show curating is my biggest concern, and it feels good to be digging in after a solid month of being freaked out about all the how-tos associated with it. (What order should I show the films? Who’s going to run the computer? Can I make all the films in each category into one uninterrupted film? What software should I use? How do I use said software??) File under T for Things That Would Suck: having a full house (we’re sold out! OMG!), and not having something beautiful to present. Now that I’m in the thick of it, I’m less anxious, which makes the process easier, and I’ve started far enough ahead that I have time for The Process to work out if/when things get hinky. If I can manage this part, then all I have to do is get the trophies in order.

The trophies! Dude – do you know, I almost completely forgot about them until last week? Last night I ordered the parts for them, and the thing I’m looking forward to most for next week (after the parts get here, natch) is assembling and making them look like I want them to. I ordered some rad rabbit statuettes, and plan to decoupage them to match the Rabbit heart logo, and then add some other parts that denote the categories. Dearest Will is going to teach me his method for covering a 3-D object, and I am deeply stoked that I’ll be learning that while I make them. Is it terrible to admit that the trophy making is one of the coolest parts of this whole festival for me? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve really enjoyed everything so far – the test-driving of the concept,*** the films that have come in, the judging get-togethers, all the learning that I’ve been privileged to along the way. But the parts I’ve loved most are the design bits – making the logo, setting up stickers and envelopes, putting together the website – it’s been heavenly. And there’s still the program to put together too – WooT!

That excitement, that looking forward to something, that’s what’s keeping me right with the world. That’s what’s moving me forward. Tony from the Duende Project posted something on his Facebook yesterday that really struck a chord in me. He said, “I do this work because it needs doing and it’s in front of me, not because I think I matter for doing it.” And I identified so well – because it’s the work that makes me feel whole, and good, and like I’m part of the bigger picture. This whole festival is about just that – I want to see it in the world; the work is in front of me and needs doing. I don’t matter for doing it, but it matters for being done. I’ll do it. I’ll do it and sing, because it matters to me. Because it moves me.

 

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*Because I drank it all. TIMEZ TO BREW MOAR.
**The crap build-up is AMAZING around here. There’s just a lot going on any given day, and when one project is completed, the next is generally in the throes of its beginning. And then stuff just starts to accumulate. And everything can be fine like that for a while if you’re ok with clutter – but we have a kitten in the house, which means that eventually stuff starts to slip.
***Especially this part! Especially getting together with Will Dearest and Jenith to make videos on our phones and then edit them down. For reals – Good Stuff.