Dear Mr. Tanky McClankerpants –

Because I’m not sure you know, I went and checked for you, and guess what I found out! THERE ARE (gasp!) 5 BOSSES IN OLD KINGDOM! Not 2, not 2 plus an extra mushroom guy who needs killin’ if the mood strikes the group, but 5, count ’em, 5 bosses.

No Love,
Fishing Mage

I like to explain to my non-gaming friends that in WoW, that in order to raid endgame, there are steps that one must take. First one must, through a series of quests and dungeons, level their toon to cap. Then one runs regular dungeons until one has good enough gear to run heroic dungeons. With enough heroic dungeons, one should be able to, between a combination of drops and badges to turn in for tier gear, start raiding. I tell my friends what I found out the hard way, that you need five people to run a dungeon*, and one should be a healer, and one a tank.

LFD in a lot of ways has made this wackysauce easier than it used to be, especially for running dungeons while leveling. LFD will scour your battlegroup until it finds an appropriate composition, and even drop you at the door to your dungeon. It can be heavenly.

It can also be the most frustrating experience ever. I’m looking at you, Mr. Tanky McClankerpants. I’m looking at you.

Fishing Mage only wants to play the game. Fishing Mage loves Spellsteal like nobody’s business. Ok, it’s really more like Buffsteal, but ZOMG, it’s still so much fun!**

Fishing Mage freaking lives to run dungeons and steal the buffs from bosses and trash alike. And to fish kooky stuff up from the waters of Azeroth. That’s about it.  Fishing Mage would like to one day be geared enough to maybe raid in Ulduar. In Ulduar, not only are there fun buffs to steal, but also, in the room where Ignis the Furnace Master hangs out, there are pools to fish. Or VoA might be fun sometime, too, even if the only water is outside the building.

But at this rate, that ain’t never gonna happen. At least not through LFD. Why, you may ask? I’ll tell you why: because jerkface tanks in the groups I’m getting keep pulling a maneuver that’s tantamount to holding our groups hostage.

I asked Mr. Tanky McClankerpants today, in total sincerity, Why the rush? when he kept trying to skip bosses in Old Kingdom. The DPS were begging him – pretty-pleasing him, to not skip bosses, because we needed badges***. Know what he told me? He told me that It’s faster to rush through and only fight the bosses that have good [(his)] drops, skipping the rest, then requeue, than it was to run the whole dungeon. He said that he could get more badges doing that.

So we killed three bosses in OK today because the tank didn’t want to run the whole thing (omigod, we whined and whined and whined until he let us kill the first boss). Last night, for the fifth or sixth time I’ve gotten Halls of Reflection, the tank “mysteriously” disconnected after the Falric and Marwyn event failed to drop the fancy tank shield.

Know what I call that business? I call that selfish. And bullying and rude. And jerkface. And funsucking. And mean. Really fucking mean. And a bunch of other things, but since Skipper’s mom might someday actually trip across this blog, I’m trying hard right now to abstain from phrases like that. Some of us don’t have the luxury of queuing and then instantly having a dungeon pop – some of us are waiting anywhere from nine to twenty minutes for a group. Then we get you, and we’re screwed. Please, if you can’t commit to running the whole dungeon, don’t queue for randoms. Please.

Fishing Mage has been rocking this puppy for ages –

Fishing Mage would like shiny purple drops, please.

And Fishing Mage needs badgers!

Fishing Mage wants to play and steal spells! Fishing Mage wants to have fun in instances! Fishing Mage would love some sweet purple cloth drops.  Fishing Mage just really would like to finish some dungeons and gear up enough to be able to run Halls of Reflection on heroic, for the love of all that’s a good time.


*Back in the day I was under the impression that the five-man instance group was a mere suggestion. Back in the day, I was a noob.
**Unless she accidentally pulls a buff off a shaman in Utgarde Pinnacle and becomes a ghost wolf. Then it’s super confusing, as Fishing Mage does not have autoattack on her bars. What would a mage want to hit something in the face for? I mean, really.
***Which led to a wipe when there was a standoff. Gross, huh?