Weird weird weird morning. I keep the clock in our bedroom set to go off half an hour before  we have to wake up, so that I can spank the snooze button for a little while. I also keep the time set ahead for two reasons: 1) if I have to do some calculations, I will be tugged out of dreamyland a little bit, and 2) I’ve never owned a clock that doesn’t run fast.*

So anyway. Our usual morning wakeup involves the not-so-gentle beeping** of  the clock, I do some quick math and smack the snooze alarm, then the process repeats until it’s time to get up. Then I nudge Will until he groans and rolls over.  Sometimes I take a shower, wake up our small person, and then come back and re-wake up Will. For years, our time for getting up has been around a quarter of seven***.

Well, I stayed up way later than usual last night. Which means that when the alarm went off the first time, this morning, I totally thought I was dreaming it, and paid no attention. Which got Will’s attention. But when he aimed for the snooze button, something bad happened, and he got the radio instead. Which neither of us knows (still) how to turn off. Which led to me furiously pressing all the buttons, and generally beating the clock up in my semi-conscious ineptitude, then turning on the bedside lamp and doing it some more. The noise stopped at last when Will reached over me and slapped the clock. I must find out where he slapped it.

Put it all together, the scary radio noises, the fumbling and bashing of the clock, and the clock running fast, and six-o-five a.m. found the two of us in the kitchen, me trying to operate some frozen soup. Because, you know, who doesn’t want tom yam soup at six in the morning?

Color me bleary and slightly bizarre today.


*Yes, even the clock in the car. And I can’t wear a wristwatch anymore – eventually the hour hand starts a slow pinwheel, then a fast pinwheel, and the poor thing dies of a heart attack. I shit you not.
**It sounds like rowdy garbage men are backing up over our bed.
***This will be moved up an hour, come Wednesday, with the advent of Middle School. Yikes!